yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
