Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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