Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
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i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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