We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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