So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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