sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
