I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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