things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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