the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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