did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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