I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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