so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
