Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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