K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
