look no pants
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i think i just lost a toe
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
