I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
