So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
