Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
