I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
