maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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