I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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