i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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