Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
