dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
