I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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