I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize