Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
