How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
