Yo dont text me then not text me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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