There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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