I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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