he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize