It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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