I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
