Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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