I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
