I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
