Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
