There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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