An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
