Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
