Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize