She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
