She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
