I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
