my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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