she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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