U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
