Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
