Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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