I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
