Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
