we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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