Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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