But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
