am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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