Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
