he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
