we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
