boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
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Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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