Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
