Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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